Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Yes they are out there, and if one of them is unlucky enough to beam into the wrong place at the wrong time, and for some reason gets distracted, the undead will more than happily snack on them. See aliens are the equivalent to what Kobe Lobster is to us, a delicacy if you will. I have documented several feeding frenzie's on this poor bastards, but The Man will not let me release the footage.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
You can find them everywhere, its a small cramped space and they're always packed. We're canned sardines to the "flesh eaters" in there. It doesn't help that they are drawn to the smell of coffee like cats to catnip. Zombie hunters have been using freshly brewed pots of coffee as bait for some time now, but since Zombies don't have the capacity to learn from past experiences, they don't hesitate to attack Starbucks.
I'm stumped with this one, I have no logical or scientific explanation as to why they like shiny crap, but just like cats they can't resist the urge to investigate and mess with small sun reflecting, bright, silvery things. Maybe they recall that big bright light they never got to explore.
Whatever the reason, just make sure you're not wearing "bling" (I'm sorry) when hiding from them.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Any song, tune, track, joint, or whatever kids are calling an audio recording these days that has 70 beats per minute, will appeal to any Zombie, if there was a Zombie iPod, you would find songs with 70 bpm on their Top 25 Most Played playlist.
The undead seem to sync their slowish movement to that particular beat, which makes for a more enjoyable and rewarding experience whilst munching on humans.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Off all the vehicles you can choose to flee away from Zombies, if you choose or get stuck with a convertible, you're pretty much fucked. Traffic, roaming hungry undead folk and roofless cars don't mix at all. Plus Zombies have been known to let themselves get run over so there's a chance they will get thrown up in the air and right into a smorgasbord of tasty, fleshy, meaty people. And if you think about it, it's easier to get into a convertible than to get out of it.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Sure they can pack a punch, but they also create a false sense of security that Zombie hoards love to take advantage of. They're aware that some of them might get a golf ball sized hole in their head, but it can only fire 6 times and it takes almost twice as long to load than a clip based pistol.
I don't care about the "updates" on the Zombie mythology, Zombies can't run or move fast for that matter, period. So given their diminished mobility there's nothing more kosher for a hungry Zombie than an obstacle free surface for them to slowly pounce on your tasty ass. They can't handle going on a steep downhill terrain very well tough, flat or not.